Sunday, June 1, 2008
In additoin to the Identity Misplacement entry (second half of a few entries back)
Women do enjoy dressing up. We play dress up when we are little girls then run up to daddy and ask, "do I look beautiful?!" and spin in a circle so that he can watch our skirt twirl. We spend a whole day getting ready for prom and ring dance and take our time to primp before dates. We like to dress up for ourselves and for that special guy and we crave to hear that "Yes, you look gorgeous." What men need to understand about women is that we want to give that- us fixing ourselves up for him- to him as a gift, not as if meeting a requirement. And it's unrealistic to expect it daily unless they want an uptight, stressed out woman. If it becomes a requirement, then we rebel against him, because whenever we comply to the unappreciated expectation, then eventually, we don't feel like we have something else to offer him to show him that we love him AND/OR we don't feel loved so we don't have as much of an inclination to love him by offering that effort to him. The ladder is probably the bigger issue. It doesn't exactly make us happy when we don't feel like what we are on the inside is adequate for us to deserve full love regardless of how we look on the outside. I don't know if all girls are this way, and and I don't imagine that the guy that I would want to be with would want a girl that was so totally concerned about her outer appearance that she doesn't care about how he views her heart, but I want my man to look inside my heart and be amazed (Bethany Dillon song "Beautiful") and for him to truly feel (not just say what he knows that I want to hear) but truly value me for my inner beauty second to nothing. And then, when I take the time to look prettier than he already thinks I look makeupless in a baggy tshirt and sweat pants, he will treasure that time and be glad that I love him to give that to him.