while i cook

So i am having to figure out timing. last time i made pasta, it was with angel hair noodles and those cooked fast and this time it is penne pasta. That takes longer, of course. So my sauteed shrimp is sitting with a pan that is bigger than the pan that it is in on top of it. yes i just used that many i_ words in a row and you might have had to read it twice. So I am watching the penne boil and watching Shaun Groves music videos online. I would be testing out the food network but the architecture of this house is not so fortunately situated. Oh I am subleasing from a nice girl that I do know and living with her two interesting roommates that I dont know. I will get to know them but they both have tall boyfriends that live in town so I dont expect to get much of their attention. and I can't wear whatever i want around the house bcause they are here a lot. that's fine. ou I burned my pinky finger on the pasta that i was testing. eat.

That was pretty darn good. how exciting! I have left overs. I'm drinking some Awake Tea that I found in the Berkeley house while i was cleaning it out. Yep yep. now I am going to read my thrilling reading textbook. I am taking a class about reading. class: 8am-noon and 2:00-4:00 except fridays when the second on does not meet. It's sort of like a job. Speaking of jobs. I think I'm going to go ahead and apply to about 10 more schools. The economy is crazy and districts are 30to60 days behind in hiring. 13/23 of my Social Studies Teaching class do not have jobs and four more are "complicated." It was a little comforting to hear that I am not an outcast.

year old email cut and pasted

Heatherpaige to hooter10 (wayne)
show details 7/20/07 Reply

Lord, who is this man
who steals my thoughts,
teases my dreams,
and treasures me so?
Is my heart gullable and he just coaxing me? He coaxes me certainly but unless coaxing is wrong, do I mind?
I toss the idea of him around in my head
or rather pretend to toss it-- truly I cannot because my heart is most frustratingly constant.
I try to ignore it,
then I try to fight it,
and I can only do the latter.
now fighting does not mean winning and I wonder,
Who do I want to win it?
Him. I hope he wins.
Heather

"What you think about will be what you long for and what you long for will be what you chase after." Ben Stuart

"Hold every thought captive to make it obedient to Christ" 2 Corinthians 10:5

"Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks." Matthew 12:34

If you spend your time thinking about the Lord in daily Bible study and godly conversation in fellowship, He is what you will long for-for a relationship and for understanding of His scriptures and of Himself and for discernment of His will for your life-and when He is what you LONG for, really long for, you will chase after Him every chance you get!
On the otherhand, if you spend your time thinking on your jealousy, or the next time you can get drunk, or about how good you look, or how people view you/ your own reputation, or selfish ambition, or about sex or porn, these things you will chase after.

Check out Galatians 5:16-26 and then Ephesians 4:17-24. But dont think about it as longing for or chasing morality. Success in this area is not attained by longing to be righteouss, that is a mere side effect of thinking about/longing for/chasing after Him and a result of grace.

Pray "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-4

cliff jumping, anti-drowning body surf practice, and MOTORCYCLING!

Today I hiked in the rain forest again, this time it rained while we were in there so it was more humid and more cool and the colors just seemed so much brighter. I really like it. We went to Waihamia Bay and cliff jumped off of a 30 foot rock into the blueblue ocean. That was pretty much amazing- did it over and over. Then we body surfed on the biggest waves I have ever been in for about an hour. We'd wait for a big wave (which were frequent), run with it and free style swim just as it broke over us and it would sweep us I don't know how dang many yards up the beach, giving sand abrasions along the way, then sucking us all the way back down to where we were swallowed by the next one. I learned that you have to get your feet under you as fast as you can between waves or else you will be sucked underneath the next one and whirled around in the sand and the salt and other bodies. When that happens, it feels like how the Little Mermaid looked when Ursula first gave her her legs deep under the water and she is fumbling trying to find which way is up and how the heck to get there. Happened to me twice- I was lost and upside down then sideways and sand swirls around me like a wet dust storm, actually, to make another disney comparison it is like Pocahontas when she is singing Colors of the Wind and the wind sweeps through her hair and it is everywhere around and above her head and in her face and full of dirt and leaves and small birds. Like that but I can't sing underwater, especially salt water. At one point, the sand went through my nose and I spat it out of my mouth from the back of my throat, my hair was everywhere and sand is sure to be falling out of it for days, then there is the bathing suit situation- it would awkwardly fill with sand and with the tossing of the wave and my uncontrollable rolling, I couldn't straighten it as soon as I would have liked. This was funny to watch happen to other people and then to sympathize with them laughingly afterward.
We= AmandaP Christi Brandon Blake Greg Stacey Laura Derek Emily. We road Harley motorcycles up there! EWWEEE! Honestly, I would have preferred to have been with my daddy, but the view was just beautiful. Driving the same roads int the little Tracker two days before was not even comparable. One moment will stand out in my memory for the rest of my life. Amanda was on Stacey's soft tail and I was on Greg's fatboy; we were on Highway 63 between two tunnels and after yelling and whooping through the tunnel with our arms spread wide like soaring birds we were launched out on the side of a lush green oddly shaped mountain over looking a dozen other ones like it and a deep valley with the blueblue ocean in the distance. The air was cool and misty on our faces and breathing never felt so good. It triggered all my senses but my taste buds. Selah.

Hawaii II

So yesterday was pretty much amazing here in paradise where mongoose run like squirrels. We rented a little 1996 convertible Geo Tracker for cheap and drove the full circumference of the island of Oahu with half a tank of gas. Amanda P, Steve, and Greg and me- we stuck the boys in the back seat for the first half of the trip because the trip was our idea. first, we hiked through a rainforest to a 200 foot waterfall. yea, we did. Thick, green, lush vegetation, bright flowers, exotic birds, a random bamboo forest along the way, and some GIANT vine-covered trees! Amanda and I climbed several trees- one that was not so tall, was a mass mess of multi-branch madnesss and we hopped around in there as if we were little chipmunks in a bush and dangled for some pictures. Another one had some tight thick vines on it so we acted out a video like we were being hunted by a velosiraptor (which Greg did an excellent impression of) and then we took off running and scampered up the tree fast as we could- quite entertaining. The third tree looked like the one in Furn Gully! If you have not seen Furn Gully, then go rent it now, because it is one of my favorite movies and if you love me, you will watch it. Anyway- It was magnificently tall and covered- like really I mean covered in layers of woody vines. So Amanda and I climbed about 60 feet into it and could see far and wide. I think we got a little more than halfway up it, high enough that my mother would have been panicked that I was climbing without a rope. When we got as high as we wanted, we pretended to be the kids in Jurassic Park when the long neck dinosaur sneezes on the girls face in the tree. It reminded me of that scene. And we considered going and getting the tracker and hoisting it parallel with the tree so that Amanda and I could reenact that scene where they run out of the tree and hit the ground just were the jeep doesn't crush them. But we didn't buy insurance on it, so we decided not to. Coming down, I could shimmy down the vines with my back to the trunk so that if I fell, it wouldn't be a deathly plummet. We were pretty proud of ourselves. Um, next, we visited several beaches, one of which had the clearest blue water I have eva seen. And the waves were bigger than the ones by our commercialized hotel zone so I could body surf a little bit by the shore and the waves would pull me back and forth and make me laugh. Ate fish n chips at a holeinthewall restaurant- which was quite good and had a very intellectual conversation there about a story on the wall. Onward to yet another beach- huge waves. Intimidatingly large. Greg and Steve swam out to an island because they're crazy in the head and I did not get into the water there because i am not as confident in my swimming skills as I am in my climbing skills. (I did enjoy snorkeling, but I'd say that I am a more terrestrial person than a water person). Instead, I played with hermit crabs and sea snails and while I did that, my purse was stolen. We spent the next hour trying to track down "a red honda with a fin" and filing a police report. As Amanda said to cheer me up, "we're playing detective, heather. Come on it's fun." It's a bit of a bummer but I am alright. I finally took some pictures, but my camera was in there along with my phone, wallet, blouse, and sunglasses. It was the rainbow colored Nepal bag. I really liked that bag. Fortunately, I did not have quite everything in my wallet and my keys weren't in there. I had to cancel credit cards though and I hope that they let me on the airplane without my DL. Oh well. So after that, we drove along the coast and watched surfers and found a good spot for cliff diving, but decided to go back monday because the rock was infested with jumpers since it was saturday. We stopped at the Dole plantation where I learned about hawaiian coffee and bought some for me and dad to try. That is Dole, like corporate fruit company Dole. We sampled pine apple and looked out how they are grown- very interesting. Also some cinnamon roasted macadamion nuts, heavenly. The largest maze in the world is there. I had deja vu when I looked at it, I'm certain I had a reoccurring dream of me in there with a gorilla once with I was a kid. We vacuumed the sand out of the car, split BIG crab legs and peeled shrimp, then paid as much to park the darn thing after hours as we did to rent it. We walked up and down the night streets and watched the street performers, gold and silver statue people, break dancers, incredible artists- spray painters, marker caricatures, and the charcoals portraitguy, magicians, musicians, my favorite was the steel drums player and band. It was fun. Since my wallet was stolen, I could not tip anybody, but I watched anyway. (there were only $6 in my wallet- I'm sure the thief was sorely disappointed. So glad my journal wasn't in it). We went to Senor Frogs. It was not as crazy as the one in Cancun, which I have not been to, but we had a lot of fun. I taught some people how to salsa and we push danced all night. today, we hiked to the top of an old volcano (but not dormant) and took some daring jitterbug pictures on the edge of the top. LONG walk, I have gotten my workout for the week I'm sure. Then we performed in the street. Tonight is fancy dinner and I am wearing a long pretty rust colored dress and soft ivory shawl with my Renaissance Festival sandals and orange eyeshadow. I'll feel pretty. Unfortunately, I am still biting my nails, so I can't make those look nice today. They got long, but then I did it again. Tomorrow, we are taking motorcycles up to north shore again. Whoop. Nick with Laura, Amanda with Stacey, and Me with Greg. Greg's been motorcycling for a while so I think we'll be alright. Although he is used to flat Texas roads and here we are on windy mountain roads in an unfamiliar place on an unfamiliar bike... Fortunately, I lost my phone so if mom reads this today, then she can't call me to try to convince me not to go.
I miss him but I'm okay.

on the wall in a holeinthewall hawaii cafe

There was an old story on the wall in a small town fish n chips cafe that taught me quite a bit. SO There was this badger that lived a little ways from a river. He owned two buckets which he would fill with water daily and carry back to his house on a stick across his shoulders, one on each side. Well, one of the buckets had a crack in it and leaked. Everyday when he got to his home, he had one full bucket and one half-full bucket to cook with. The perfect bucket was very proud to be so perfect. But the cracked bucket felt ashamed of his flaw. Well, one day, while they were down by the river, the cracked bucket confessed to the badger, "I am so ashamed of my flaw. Everyday, you come home with only a bucket and a half of water instead of two full ones because of me and I cannot do anything about it." The badger looked down at it and said, "Bucket, have you not seen the flowers that grow along your side of the path to my house and not the other? I knew of your crack, so I planted seeds along your side of the path and everyday, you water them for me as I walk. I gather them to decorate my table while I eat. They are beautiful and bring me joy. This that you perceive as an imperfection is wonderful to me."

Like it? I know that I have some imperfections. They are blessings from God and to God. He delights in my so-called "flaws" whether they are character, mental, physical, or emotional-related etc. And I should be confident in them. Some of them I should work on like timeliness and forgetfulness, although honestly I don't know that I will ever fully master either of those. We should all strive to be self-disciplined, but I need to remain secure in who God made me to be and not feel ashamed of any of my traits or wish to be any different from how I was made. I bet that some of my "inadequacies" are beautiful and purposeful in some way that I will never find out. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be me and am pretty sure that I am more confident and free spirited about myself than some people are. If I were perfect, I would probably be cocky and that would not glorify God in the least bit and it would stand in the way of a lot of wonderful relationships that He has blessed me with. Jeremiah 9:23-25 says [Do not boast in your own abilities,possessions, or accomplishments] 'but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,' declares the LORD.

Hawaii

Look I'm on the internet. We got up at 4am Tuesday morning (after sleeping only 3 hours) to make our flight, which was 8 hours long, and when we got to Hawaii, it was mid afternoon. So we went to bed as soon as the sun went down because we were so tired. Then we woke up at 5am wide awake. So Amanda and I went down and watched the sunrise from the beach. It was lovely and peaceful and nice to make the first foot prints on the shore. Then we went out to Pearl Harbor. I cried there. The museum is really wonderful and we took at boat out to the USS Arizona Memorial. As a future history teacher, it is definitely good for me to have been places like that. I wish I would take pictures. I carried my camera around all day and I never take a darn one. I want to have pictures, it just never crosses my mind to pull it out. Oh we were funny!: we toured this old submarine at the harbor and Amanda, Liz, and I made funny videos inside. The first one I filmed Amanda being the captain onf the phone and were getting fired upon so i made the camera shake terrentially and then liz took off running and dove through one of the metal high doors. I dont how to describe that. it is neat to be in there, but i have absolutely no idea what I am looking at. I think that is okay with me- I doubt there i will ever know much about mechanical anything. I'll let someone else take of those things and I'll keep working on my sewing abilities. Next video: Amanda and I were steering the boyancy wheels and clicking buttons and liz made a loudspeaker noise and said we had a ship on radar. Amanda and I frantically turned the system into the "quiet mode" and and made an engine dying noise in our throats then said "shh, they wont see us. don't make a sound." then liz made a farting noise. We yelled, "oh no! we've been discovered!", scolded liz, and I ran to ready the torpedo launcher. Okay it was funny. I'm the other tourists thought we were pretty wierd. But the little hawaiian employee inside thought we were hilarious. If you're lucky, we'll put it on facebookvideos. anyway, The rest of the day Amanda and I spent collecting shells, investigating coral skeletons, and chasing crabs. There are no seagulls here- just lots of scrawny pigeons and strange mo hawked orange birds that I have taken a liking to. We watched some Hawaiian skim boarders and I really wanted to ask one to let me try- but I didn't. He would run and throw it, and then since the waves are a bit bigger than they are in Galveston, he would ride up on a close breaker and his body would go horizontal before he came back down to his feet. Amanda and I bought some cheap snorkeling equipment yesterday and swam around our beach then almost got hit by two catamarans.
Then today- we went to this amazing bay to snorkel. It is in an old valcano crater of which one side collapsed and filled with water to create a narrow mouthed bay. there is an old hawaiian legend- the way the mountain surrounds it, it looks like a big sleeping lizard from nose and eyes on one point, to a high ridged back, then a narrowing pointed tale to the other point. Apparently a King of old turned himself into the mountain to watch over his daughter who had also turned herself into a mountain to escape a long triangle between her and two renowned warriors. We swam pretty far out into the bay. In some places, the coral was so shallow that you had to suck in your belly to keep from hitting it. In some of those places,there was sea urchin in every crevice and you just had to pray that you didn't scuff one beacuse that would hurt. In other places it was fifty feet deep and the water was the most beautiful blue! I saw so many different kinds of fish I couldn't name them all even if I did know what they were called. purple, orange, yellow, black, blue, with striped and/or pokadotted assortments off varioius shades of all those! I swam up next to three sea turtles!! They were pretty much beautiful.
On land, the vegetation is crazy! Big fat rafiki (sp? lion king) trees covered in twizzler-like ivy. Tomorrow is the free day. Amanda and I are renting a little tracker for "28dolla" and heading to a rainforest to hike. (jurassic park was filimed on this island.) We picked a mountainous area on the map with a high water fall. I'll tell you about it later. She brought a book of hawaiian plants so that we know what we are looking at. We'll drive the full circumferance of Oahu and stop by the north shore where the really big waves come through. The waves are biggest in the winter time but they will still be bigger than Waikiki were we are now. Well, tonight we are roasting a pig on a pike so I need to go get out of this now dry bathing suite and get the salt out of my hair. Smiling.

FFH song "It's a Good Day"

How ever long our feet have walked on this world, we have all lived long enough to know that sometimes life will go our way and other times it wont.
But still I have this joy inside of me. With each new dawn I do believe to say,

"Hey it'a a good day even if things aren't going my way. Jesus is Lord and I am saved so, hey it's a good day."

Circumstance and situations change. You know life can turn on a dime. But there's a constant hope and peace that I have come to find. And it's all because of who God is. And that He is alive and I am His.

So, Hey it's a good day. Even if things aren't going my way. Jesus is Lord and I am saved so hey it's a good day.

We are all as happy as we make ou minds up to be. And I have just decided that nothing's gonna take this joy from me!

Hey- It's a good day.

Life Is Christ. everything else is just living.

I’ve been thinking about what I was thinking about yesterday. I want trials to persevere through. It has been said to me before, “well of course you love Jesus, you have no troubles in your life.” Okay, I believe that I would love Jesus even if He did make me the next Job. I am not requesting pain and suffering, no. But I was pondering Philippians 4:11b-14, “For I have learned in every situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Thank you, dear role model Paul. I have never been hungry and not been able to get food. I’ve never scrounged for clothing or not had a safe place to lay my head. I have never been persecuted aside from little discouragements and peer attacks (like no governments and jailers). What proof do I have to proclaim, “Lord, I trust you.”? No, I am not requesting a horrible trial. But I do need to use my current one to show Him what I think of His glory and confirm just how small the problems of the world are compared to Him: getting over my loss of companionship with Wayne and making faithful decisions about what to do next year (because it looks like it is changing) without going into freak out mode.

His sufficiency supersedes my deficiencies... if I let them. (aka: Your Grace is Enough)

I’m struggling with the adjustment. I have to be honest. I have up days and down days and up hours and down hours. Overall (but not quite overwhelmingly), my joy is in the Lord. I am content, more than content, really. Paraphrase 1 Thess. 5 and Phil 4: “Be joyful always and content in all circumstances, in times of plenty and times of lacking.” That is something I have always strived for and now I am just being challenged more than normal. My emotions seem to want to be haywire and I find myself wanting to wallow in my discomfort, whether God could console me fully or not. True: He brings me peace and comfort and I have occasional bursts of gladness in which I smile and dance around because His mercy astounds me and renews me continually. Then there are the times that I cry. and I feel dumb- what % of people in the world are starving and I am distraught because of romance deficiency. It’ll get better in time. Time.

More on what I wrote yesterday

I found another verse about following the straight and narrow path. It's Psalm 32:8. God says, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way that you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you." then he adds, "Do not be like the horse or mule which have no understanding but must be controlled by a bit and bridel or they will not come to you." God has given us free will. He will direct us in the way that we should go if we will look to him and let him guide us. A horse is impatient and would run ahead of his master so a bit has to hold him back. A mule is complacent and would often sit still if its master didn't tug and pull on his face to make him move. God does not want to do either of these. he wants us to choose to follow him. He says, "if you love me, you will follow my commandments. That is how I know that you love me." And not only following his morality commandments,He says also that "Anything that is not done by faith is sin." Romans 14:23. Faithfully follow his path without swerving or getting ahead of Him like a horse or lagging behind him like some old mule.
When we do get selfish though, and choose to love ourselves more than we love Christ (represented by the swerving on my map from the previous post). He gives us comforting scripture like All of Psalm 32 which is about forgiveness and Psalm 51 which is about renewal. And He reminds us, Psalm 103:12, "as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us." (Also a very cool song by Casting Crowns.)

The Gift of Singleness

So I'm single now by the way. As of two days ago, a seven month date is over.
I listened to a Breakaway sermon titled "The Gift of Singleness" while I drove to H-town yesterday and that was exceedingly helpful in steering me in the right direction. As exciting as it half-way sounds, I don't think plunging into the world of casual dating is a very wise or healthy idea and the sermon finalized that for me. Ben talked about how we can serve God as a single person in so many awesome ways that married people just cant. He referred to dating and marriage as a distraction from serving God fully because we have to monitor and cherish that person and can't up and go to Starbucks or Thailand anytime you want when you are married and much less when you have children. The first half of your life, you are intended to serve him as a single person focusing on Him, and the second half, most of us are intended to serve him alongside a spouse. Anyway,
I was sitting on the floor at Barnes and Noble today reading "When God Writes your Love Story" by the Eric and Leslie Ludy and had some nifty thoughts. Thought I'd jot em down here.
Leslie wrote about how it is important to save ourselves not only physically but emotionally for our husbands and how dating multiple guys because we feel like it damages our hearts. I would rather give my heart to Jesus for now and then offer it unblemished to my husband when it comes time for me to give it to him. Leslie quoted this admirable chick, "As for guys pursuing me for temporary relationships, my attitude is 'I'm already taken.' Until God brings my future husband along and I know it's him, I'm not available." p. 118. So I pondered that a bit. And prayed that God would repair me and prepare me between now and then for that time; and based on the damage build-up, I think my heart might need a little more time than my on-and-off-eager, lonesome human self was hoping for. So let me verify that my hope is in the Lord, my comforter and protector, and I do not need to invest in a man in order to attain joy. I don't need a series of unnecessary relationships like our culture tells us we do. Aside from the damage that it causes, it is just not a wise way to spend my time- no God's time- (Ephesians 5:15-16 "Look carefully how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of your time.") because my purpose is to further his kingdom. (Matthew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.") I will further his kingdom and follow Him with my whole heart as one single person until the time comes (God's timing) that I can serve him better as one with someone else. And I am praying for the same thing for my husband (if he exists).
I heard someone talking once about God's people having different callings and purposes and niches in different stages of our lives. What God called me to do when I was 15 versus what he calls me to do now and what he will call me to when I am 55 are very different. He will prepare us to serve him where he wants to plant us and then he will put in us the new desire and longing to serve there and grow where we are planted each time. I realized as I read today that my calling is to be a guide and mentor for young girls! I bought the book today, not because I want to read it again, but because I want to be able to share it with the girls that I work with next year. Next year I will be teaching high school and possibly coaching too. I want to lead a group of young girls at church in Bible Study or accountability groups and be involved in their lives. I have thought about this for a while, but as I read today about the heart of a woman and about protecting it, I felt this desire to help and guide these young girls just burst within me and I leaped and bounced and danced at the thought of it! THEN I realized, hey I'm working at the 8th and 9th grade camp at Pine Cove this summer! WOW! God really has intricately, purposely and purposefully placed me there this summer and now, after he already set it up for me, I realize a bit about why. I did not go get a camp application and bubble in the jobs that I might be interested in doing. Nope. I called and told them I could come and then they called me with an assigned spot (to learn more about that process, read previous excited blog). So I am stoked. I was thinking also...I am not God and I am not skilled to understand what God has willed and God has planned (Aaron Shust haha), but
even I can see that I will be able to serve these young women so much better as a single woman, not as a married one. And so sets in the fact that I probably wont be meeting Mr. Right at Pine Cove this summer... okay. I am excited about this. This is good. A blessing. In the meantime, I am guarding my heart and letting God prepare it to love and be loved by an amazing man when the next stage of my life starts. I anticipate that it will be a while before I am repaired and prepared to start that second half of my life as a married servant of Christ. So God, help me to be content and joyful and joyfully content in my singleness until I am found by him! I know I will struggle and be lonely and tempted, but Lord help me to 1 Corinthians 10:13 like you promised and to come through strong and beautified!

Another quote from Leslie: "It's time to allow God to mold you into His likeness. As we let God have His way, we will be transformed into a princess of true purity." So I responded, "Yah! Let's Go!"

"A woman's heart should be so hidden in the Lord that a man has to seek God in order find her."

A man's way should be so committed to the Lord that a woman would have to be hidden in God in order to catch his eye.

Newest Member of the Pine Cove Timbers Staff 2008!

I just found out that I am working at Pine Cove again this summer and I am so super exicited! It is a total God thing-
I was looking at my calendar and my summer classes end abut halfway throught the summer. So I prayed that God would put me to use and direct me where to serve him during those extra weeks. And THE NEXT DAY, I woke up and thought, 'hey i think I'll call Pine Cove and tell them I'm here if they need me." I didn't expect much because they have already finished all their hiring, but I knew that sometimes something goes crazy and someone gets a snake bite or gets sick or quits at the last minute So I told SnickerSnoodle that she could throw my name into a hat and put it if they need me to fill in for a week or two. So she said sure and sent out a little email about me to camp directors. Well, THAT HOUR a girl that was supposed to work at the 8th and 9th grade camp called Elgapo and quit- said she couldn't come after all, that she was really sorry and wasn't coming. So Elgapo was about to have to scramble through extra late interviews to find someone to replace her when he recieved the email about me. So he called me immediately and started scoping me out. I was so excited all day yesterday, my legs were shaking and bouncing in class- then he called me and offered me the job this morning. So I am working the whole second summer session on Chaos: kitchen crew, programs and skit staff, and runner at the Timbers Camp! It is so crazy that this was not even in my head 2 days ago and now it is happening. I am super mega excited! God is so good. He's quick. I really need the lift before I go into career mode too.

Don't whoop on New Years in Austin or you might be pushed off a cliff

This rates in the Most Spontaneous Things I've Ever Done List.
Wayne said he was going to Austin for new years. And I missed him too much. So I just decided at about 5:30pm on the 31st to drive to Austin. Packed in 20 minutes and got to downtown Austin by 9:45pm. Stopped once filled up on gas while I emptied my bladder then scholtzkied a drive-thru. We found eachother at 6th and Congress St with Brent, Beau, and Rachel and dilly-dallied back to the car. Next, we hiked up a hill with flashlights, blankets and fruitcake to watch all the lovely fireworks. Don't worry, we whooped quietly so we didn't get pushed off the cliff. Not 10 minutes after the midnight kiss (which was brief because I'm probably contageous), we hightailed it back to Brent's appartment before the drunks left their parties. All my clothes got wet because I let the shower hit the floor- arrg - I slept in Brents room and all the boys slept in the soon-to-be-furnished living room. Got up and scrambled eggs my way then Wayne and I spent the day together in his new sports coat. First, we took pictures around the capital and wondered around downtown in the daytime. Lots of 11-hr-old decorations and streamers still around. All the restaurants were closed for new years AND we couldn't find a bathroom. BUT Guess what we found! We slipped into an AMAZING beautiful Driskel hotel lobby on our bathroom hunt and found a nifty hotel cafe. So we ate soupysoup and pecan pie with the third best gourmet coffee I have ever had. I sipped it and had to close my eyes because it felt so good to have it in my mouth that I could not take in the lovely scene at the sametime for overwhelmtion. After that, we drove to Barton Springs (where people were swimming!) and hiked all around the tributary then back around it again and took pictures there too. Then i went back to dallas and he went back to houston. I'll see him again Friday. Can't wait. Laura K. said we are the greatest thing since sliced bread.






It's grandmother's birthday. Happy Birthday Grandmother.

An agnostic musician's explanation of life

This is how it works
you're young until you're not
you love until you don't
you try until you can't
you laugh until you cry
you cry until you laugh
and everyone must breath until their dying breathe
Note this is how it works
you appear inside yourself
you take the things you like
then try to love the things you took
and then you take that love you made
and stick it into someone else's heart
pumpin someone else's blood
and walkin arm and arm
and hope it don't get hard
and even if it does,
you just do it all again.

What do you think about that?

about evangelism

"The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest." Matthew 9:37 and Luke 10.

Danken Heist Uber Schleiten (To Think Means To Go Beyond)

You know the old saying, you reap what you sow...

This is a cool quote about it. It's a chain reaction:

Sow a thought, reap an action.
sow an action, reap a habit.
sow a habit, reap a character.
sow a character, reap a destiny.
-Samuel Smiles

And I thought, so, Shakespeare's Macbeth actually taught us something. Macbeth let the THOUGHT of killing the King turn into an ACTION, then the act of killing people became a HABIT and he killed lots of people, then he grew a destructive (and self-destructive) CHARACTER which inevitably brought his bloody DESTINY. Of course this is a little extreme but it also applies to other things like drugs, alcoholism, pornography, and smaller things like gossip and laziness.

I worked backwards. 1) My Destiny: I want to have a destiny where God says, "Well done good and faithful servant." Matthew 25. Not "Dang, I wish you had chosen to live a little differently." 2) So in order to have that Destiny, I need to have the Character of a godly woman. 3) In order for me to be a godly woman, I really need to have good Habits. 4) If I want to have good Habits, then obviously, I need to Act accordingly. 5) and in order to control my Actions, I need to keep my mind and my Thoughts on godly things because I am far less likely to Act on something or say something that I have not Thought about. So the goal is to "hold every thought captive." 2 Corinthians 10:5 and Philippians 4:8.
Back to Matthew 25, after He says, "Well done good and faithful servant", he says, "You have been faithful over a few things, now I will put you over many things." One of the "few things" that He first puts us in charge of is our own self-control and if we are faithful with that little thing, then He will put us over greater things like mentorship or mission work or whatever He has planned for each us. If we can not prove faithful with something small and personal like that, then why would He put us over His flock? We have to prove faithful with the little things He gives us now so that He will trust us to give us bigger roles in furthering His kingdom later. It is impossible to be perfect all the time. We are human and He wouldn't give us forgineness if He didn't know that. Still it is good to bare in mind that He has instructed us to be faithful. So we try. Jesus says, "If you love me, you will follow my commandments." So not following Him is straighout saying, I dont love you more than myself and I don't trust you that you can satisfy me fully. When we take our pleasure into our own hands, we must be breaking God's heart. He is a jealous God and that is something to be jealous of. (read 1 John 2)
I want to grow to my full potential for God so that He can use me without the disruption of selfish sin NOW OR LATER/ LATER THEREFORE NOW with the chain reaciton thing.
In order to be who He wants you to be later, you have to choose what you think now. "Hold every thought captive."

Galatians 6:7-9
"Whatever a man sews, that he will also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap cottuption, but the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eiternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap if we do not give up."

Music Survey

1. What is music? (your personal definition) Music is an enthusiasticizing conglomeration of notes sent as soundwaves from various instruments or vocal chords to our ears to be enjoyed. Sometimes it relaxes, sometime it stirs us to dance, sometimes we make it and offer it as worship to God and sometimes when we are offering it to Him, we dance too.

Happy Thanksgiving. I'm at Grandmother and Grandaddy's in Abilene, TX. It was sleeting outside! Now it snowing outside. Sweet tea and pumpkin pie.
later...5 inches. and a snowman with a baby carrot nose from the fridge and packing peanuts for eyes, hair, and a smile.

sitting in starbucks transposed journal entry

I am sitting at my little starbucks table with a low hanging light over my head. I just got out of my Bible Study Group and now am reviewing for the GRE.
Two history teachers (male) share my bench to the right and discuss lecturing and handling students. I might be a teacher someday. A woman only a few years older than me is sitting with her six month old daughter by the big window to my left. She is infatuated with that baby; she loves her. Look at them play together. Look at how she gazes at her. Look at how much she values this time she is spending with her. I might be a mother some day.
The low hanging light over my head is like God. No matter what is happening with the teaching career or with motherhood on my left and right, I am still sitting immobile under Him.
Both parties left at the same time.
I think I will not throw this GRE study book at the wall and I will continue to refrain from premarital sex.
Discernment.


Not fully related to the post, but I'm sticking this here anyway:

I did a wonderful Bible study right after my accountability group met this morning. I read
1 Peter 2:22
LOVE ONE ANOTHER EARNESTLY with a pure heart
Matt 9:37
PRAY EARNESTLY to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into the harvest.
Romans 12:11ish
NEVER BE LACKING IN ZEAL. BE FERVENT in spirit, serving the Lord.

I miss Laura.

I miss my Laura. Too read about Laura Joost's stay in France (she is teaching there for 9 months) go to http://laurasinfrance.blogspot.com/

Little bro

Carter and I worked with horses at Pine Cove together last weekend. What an awesome experience for both of us. I hope we get to do it again. He is coming here next weekend. He says he is craving Aggieland. I said duh. I'm taking him out dancing at Harry's- I'm so excited! I've been wanting him to come see what I do for fun here and to exprerience Texas Honkytonk. And, of course, to dance with me.

Autumn

It is Autumn! I had my first pumpkin spice latte two days ago and hung some fall decor on my front door. The leaves on the trees in my yard are turning red and yellow. Today, I was straightening up my room when my ears heard an abrupt downpour. I opened the blinds all the way and it was so neat to see the rain ripping the straggling leaves out of the trees like snow! That only lasted for a few minutes and I knew it would so I watched intently joyful.

About Planning

James 4:13-16 Semi-Paraphrased
Come now you who [make your own plans], yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring... Instead you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this and that." As it is, you boast in your arrogance and that is evil.

Proverbs 19:21
Many are the plans in the minds of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand.

Romans 9:16
So it depends not on human will or exertion but on the Lord who has mercy.

And the Clincher: Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.

I'm in Texas

That was a crazy rapid adjustment. My brain and whatever subconscious emotional thing had trouble catching up with my body in the rush into school and country change plus intense amount of dancing with high expectations and the other stuff that's going on all within what 5 days. I'm recovered now though. I just had to sit down and breathe. I'm very happy to be back.

hub-jub on second from the last night in cambridge

Tomorrow will be my last day in Cambridge.
I am at my desk analyzing the eminent question,
Why didn’t Guinevere ride away with Lancelot?
A question more urgent for me at 8:54 tonight than for mankind.
I set the mood.
Moved the yellow bedside lamp to my desk,
Or to the shelf rather, that is as far as the plug would reach.
I like it better than the ceiling light,
Maybe because it glows like candlelight
Maybe I like candlelight because things feel old here.
My window is open to the third notch.
There are six notches. A bird flew into it the last time I opened it all six.
Outside was gray today and I can still tell.
I turned on Vivaldi on the floor behind me and
Made a single cup of raspberry tea with hot sink water.
It’s sitting on its saucer to my right. But raspberry tastes like daytime.
Oh well. Their picking some sting instruments behind me, I think a mandolin.
The tea bag drizzled on Malory. Page 77 is pink.
My courage angel stands bow-chested, arms spread, closer to the window than me.
A picture of my sister below her. I’ll see her soon.
The room is yellow but the breeze feels blue.
It is like when you drop an ice cube into warm tea
and the temperature swirls in your mouth like Van Gogh’s Night Sky clouds.
Maybe we only do that in the South.
My tea is fading in temperature and measurement,
Six weeks and I still haven’t figured out the metric system.
The chandelier in the Trinity College chapel is on,
The tall arched windows are lit up.
I wonder if anyone can see my window from there too.
I wonder if anyone can hear my music from the street.
I wonder if Guinevere would have like raspberry tea and electric lamps.
I hope the weather is good tomorrow.

It's raining here. My hair is drying. It's a good thing it's not cold in here. Tomorrow is my last day in Cambridge. I bought some of the cookies that I eat around here. More for Carter than for me, I'll let Carter sample each one of them. I climbed to the top of St. Mary's bell tower today and looked at town £2. We are going to see Midsummer Night's Dream in the Trinity College garden tonight- but it may be raining- no good for sitting in grass with eyes open. I like the rain though. I was far away from the college umbrellaless with it started and it made me smile. I saw memorials to Newton and Tennyson and Lord Byran and John Drydan today. We took a little field trip there (across the street) during my King Arthur class today. I'm done with that class. Three papers and no exam. three shorter papers for Shakespeare with a final. I liked the classes here. They are small and intimate. We meet in "The Green Room" around an old dining room table. The classroom is right below my bedroom, I just tap around and around that dimly lit, tight, stone spiral staircase, through the hobbit door, across the banister, down the huge wooden staircase, and glance up at the elaborate red ceiling on my way in. Doesn't that sound nice. It is so wierd to live with my professors too. He just says, "if you have any questions, just run by my room." We eat breakfast and dinner together and take 11am coffee and 4pm tea together. It is a strange tightknit community that we have here, probably much like living in a cult just without the religious aspect. It is a weird thought that we will never all be in the same place at the same time again. To live with 40 other people for 40 days and 40 nights and then poof, it's over. I've gotten pretty close to quite a few of the people here. But don't get me wrong, I am so excited about coming home- I'm ready. One week longer and I'd be passed ready. One week less and I'd be short.

this is an old journal entry

I read a quarter of shakespeare's Othello at a pub called The Eagle... "At present, I sit in a fireplace. A long sense heavily used fireplace- I fear that if I lean on the bricks it would turn my blouse black. The Eagle is a famous aviator's bar and in the back room, aviator's names are burned into the ceiling with lighters 'wild hare, 'dark harrone,' '159.' the floor is dry wood and cracks beneath my feet, but I am sitting on the hearth. The walls that are not uneven brick are dark cracked plaster between wooden beams not unlike the ones that HOLD UP the sagging ceiling. Small windows show it is twilight and the room feels almost candle lit. The place is filled with shouting people-mostly men but to me it is muffled because I am three sides enclosed. I feel like a hanging portrait looking out into the ruckus. A portrait of a curious girl with life and passion in her eyes. When they walk by me ,I hope they stop and look." then i drew a comparison to a Christopher Reeves movie, Somewhere in Time- go watch it if you want to- it is one of my favorite movies.

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Market to Market to buy a...

Today I went to a tiny art festival in a garden circle. a street guitarist stood by the fountain and sang familiar tunes and I gave him 20 pence. there was a jackson pollock-like painter with dreadlocks painting while he sold his work. lots of wood work and carpentry, pottery, jewelers- some making things while they sold them, handmade bags and blankets (I bought a cute iPod holder there), an odd metal worker, a candle maker- making candles out of bees wax-she winds the comb around the wick into a candle stick, photography, and flowers. but the flowers werent for sale.

I went after that to the open market and bought myself bread and cheese and a fruitdrink and bought flowers for my room. There was a rockout accordion player playing there- i didn't know that was possible. I think I will buy some loose leaf tea and a pocket burlap's work of coffee beans. Am I aloud to bring that into the U.S.?

Stratford, home of Shakespeare

We went to Henry IV Part I at the Courtyard Theatre in Stratford on Avon. Good play. I like going to plays. I wish I liked ballets but I dont think I do.
I drew a picture of my dinner with markers. It was "bacon"=ham in grease, fried egss, "chips"=fries, fresh green peas, a solitary grilled tomato, and a fat, completely satisfying mushroom, with a chilled John Smith stout. on a leather big leather couch all to myself in an all darkwood pub with 500-year-old wavy glass in the windows. The pub is called The Rose and Crown, and red roses tapped on the glass at me from outside so it fits.
Then I went and sat in the park and watched houseboats on the Avon and talked about housewives with a few unwed girls like myself.

Alot on Coventry, the Reconciliation Church

Yesterday I went with one of my professors to Coventry Cathedral. That is where Lady Godiva rode naked on her horse through the city streets. She threatened her husband that she would do it if he didn't lower the taxes- he didn't so she rode and then he did.
The town was a manufacturing center during WWII and made military supplies so obv it was a blitzkrieg target. The Germans bombed it in 1940 and the cathedral was destroyed. When they were going through the rubble, a man spotted two wooden beams had fallen into the shape of a cross (kinda like Trade Center cross in the metal beams) and he bound them and set them up behind what was left of the altar.
The people became very passionate about peace and forgiveness and reconciliation. Now, Coventry Cathedral has become a famous symbol for peace. We went to the litany service there where they pray for people and nations. The church members and clergy use this place as a base for so many awesome mission programs. They left the ruins of the medieval cathedral there and built a new one right beside it in 1956-62 in the modern architectural and artistic style. IT IS AMAZING. And the place is decorate with christian artwork from all over the world- a passionate madonna and child from a church artist in Stalingrad Russia, the largest tapestry in the world from a women in France (took 3 years to build) it covers the entire back wall and it is very modern looking- bright green, some picasso looking modern stain glass windows from a reconciliation group in Germany, a metal city-scape piece about diversity from a church in Cincinnati, Ohio, a crucifix from Czechoslovakia, and their baptismal pool is carved from a rock outside of Bethlehem, on of the most emotional and truly beautiful statues I have ever seen was made by Josefina de Vasconcellus- it called reconciliation and it is a bronze life size of a two people on their knees facing each other- each laying their head on the others shoulder with their arms around each others shoulders and head. 23"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, 24leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." The sculpture was between a Jewish woman and German soldier. It makes me cry. It was outside in the ruins instead of in the new building. Oh and John Piper designed the main stained glass window inside. it is called "the Coming of the Glory of God" and it is set in 3-D panels so that you cannot see it until you get really far away from it. It is just a giant white-to-yellow round form surrounded by bursts of blue and red in weird shapes. It is hard to describe- actually impossible to describe- but I loved it. I stood there and just stared at it for a good 5 minutes. I don't know what to say. "The window represents the glory of God flooding into the world." The floor at the entrance of the new cathedral said in silver on black letters "To the Glory of God, this Cathedral burnt November 14 AD 1940 is now rebuilt 1962."
The ruins were beautiful. A wedding was ending there when we got there. I sat atop of what used to be a pillar in the middle and drew a sketched a few pictures. the bell tower is still up and it rings. Most of the windows are just bear frames but some have shattered glass still in it. There was garden in the back and that was very peaceful and lovely. my professor is not a Christian. we had a neat conversation about God and faith- we had a few hours on the bus.

Russian Girl

The diversity of people here is crazy. People come here to learn English from all over the world- especially during the summer months because the Universities are not full of regular students. Obv England is closer to most countries travelwise than the western hemosphere but also it is really hard to get a visa in the US- not something that i didn't already know but, you know, talking to international students in US, you only hear from the ones that did get visas. I talked to a Chinese boy named June at Harry's Cafe last night and he said that it is his dream to study in New York but he can't get a visa. It's just interesting.
I'm encountering a lot of cultures at once. But of course it is skewed because I am only meeting the wealthy minorities of those cultures.
I randomly met a Russian girl named Elaina in Borders Bookstore Starbucks today. She was reading a book on Hillary Clinton, "A Woman in Charge" - i flipped through it and it was filled with propaganda (if you cant tell by the title). So we started a conversation about government and war and gradeschool history classes and then on economy. She was 8 years old when the communist regime fell in '91 so she talked about what it was like then and the changes. She thinks animal rights activists and vegetarians in America and Europe are stupid and don't know a thing about the world. In Russia, fruits and vegetables are so expensive in all but 3 months of the year that only rich people can eat them. They really on grains and cereals and potatoes mostly and can usually afford meat. So they dont really have the opportunity to balance their diets and be healthy. She also said that if you tried to tell a siberian not to kill an animal for his fur coat you'd get shot in the teeth. Clothes are so expensive there too. She can barely afford to live here. (my living expenses are twice as much here from America) The exchange rate is 52 Rubles to the Pound! So she has to go back soon. She is afraid she will forget English. I told her about Harry's and she said she is going to go. She is not a Christian. i have to go it's dinner time.

Harry's Cafe

Tonight I went to an International Students Ministry in town. There were like 30 students there! They come here for the summer to learn English and this Christian team runs a cafe inside a gothic church fellowship hall and Asians, Eastern Europeans, and whoever else come there to work on their English and learn about Jesus. There are colorful tables set up all over the small, but high ceilinged, hall and we are welcome to just sit and chat about whatever over coffee or tea. A guitarist played and sang Jars of Clay songs quietly in the corner. They had a little drama to introduce Bible Study which they were invited to go to but not pushed. I went to but I didn't talk much- I wanted to see the set up and how it was led. The leader was an Irish pharmacist and 7 people came. He read Luke 5 about the Paralytic very slowly then he explained some of the English words they might not know, then he broke down the concepts by asking questions and stirring discussion. So it helped them with reading skills and vocabulary and of course with learning who Jesus is. 2 of the foreign students in there were already Christians but the others were completely new and were very curious. After Bible study, I sat downstairs and talked to some guys from Slovakia, Japan, and Korea and we talked about predestination and about God's guiding hand in our lives... and music.

CLAS-222-500 INTERMEDIATE LATIN II MWF 1020AM-1110AM ENPH 216
ENGL-461-900 ADV SYNTAX AND RHET MWF 1240PM-0130PM BLOC 124
HIST-335-500 EUROPE 1890-1932 MWF 0150PM-0240PM HECC 201
KINE-199-466 SU TUMBLING-BEGINNING R 0935AM-1050AM READ 307
RDNG-465-501 RDNG IN MID/SEC GRADES TR 1110AM-1225PM HECC 103
TEFB-324-500 TEACHING SKILLS II MW 0410PM-0525PM HECC 203
LAB TBA

Oh I really miss junior high kids! I know that is radom. Allen Jenkins posted some old JUMMP pictures on facebook today and I flipped through them and Oh gosh I love those kids and I love that age group and don't get me wrong, I am so so happy to be in England- I am having a great time and learning so much here- but I am missing spending my summer with youth. Hey Mom and Carter, there are pictures of you on facebook- one of mom on a roof but she's in the background.
Laura Joost and I read a Max Lucado book together in June called "Cure for the Common Life" and it had quizzes throughout about where we serve God most effectively and joyously. I don't usually read selfhelp books but I learned quite a bit from this one. I LOVE youmg people. I love them I love them I love them. I am a leader to a degree but not a head honcho. So I wouldn't want to be a HS principal but I'll be a merry teacher and I wouldn't want to be a church youth director but I want to be very involved in my churches youth program as soon as possible. Sunday School, trip chaperone, mission trip helper, mentor and accountability group guide. I enjoyed working with S.O.S. 4thand5th grade girls and I liked Pine Cove Elementary kids, but Jr. High and early High School girls are my favorite. I hope I have some time to work at the Venue this semester. I missed JUMMP this summer.
I am definitely enjoying being in college ministries like the Wesley Foundation. But I am looking forward to getting involved in a big church's young graduated-real world persons ministry and then working with the youth in that church too. That will be so much fun. I want to do building projects and other mission work too. I hope I'll have time- I don't have much time right now. This semester is going to be insane!

Welcome to Scotland. We stole the tune to their national anthem. "my country tis of the...LET FREEDOM RING." Theirs say's "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN."

10 hour bus ride. We stopped in Haworth, England, where the Bronte sisters grew up on the way up. (authors of Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights). The town was absolutely adorable- I want to go back- I didn't want to leave. Cambridge is relatively flat compared to northern England and Haworth is on rolling hills- you get a work out just walk through the cobblestone streets and everywhere you look you see green and gold hills of farm land.
We hiked around the famous moors. They were lovely. Foggy, cold, and damp and completely COVERED in purple heather! We had a photo op of me sitting in the heather and making heather angels in the heather and such. I enjoyed the attention. Unfortunately they are not in full bloom right now so they are more green than bright purple but that is okay.


I bought a feather dip pen and sone sienna dipping ink! Then I journaled with it! I was so excited. I also bought a wooden calligraphy pen for myself. I can just insert the various nubs that I already have- perfect. My handwriting needs alot of work though.

So then we got to Scotland and the mountains made me want to be on a motorcycle so bad! Actually, I met a Bostonian drummer man in Edinburgh and struck up a convo because he was wearing a Harley Davidson t-shirt and he said that he wanted to rent a bike while he was here but they charge you by the kilometer and not many places rent them so he couldn't. Sad- Sorry Bob. Anyway, we came up to the Firth of Forth off the of the North Sea and there were huge cliffs on the water-WOW. I melted. Edinburgh is a prettyneat spot. It's built between two mountains and there is huge mound in the middle on which a fortress was built starting in 1093 under King David of Scotland. The town basically grew up around the castle. It is so wild- there's just this random huge 4 sided batholith-like rock. there is absolutely no way to get over those castle walls except through the court. I stole these from the internet: href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2IylGCVdcWQSkGH3axXSQlJ94cAA3lkOdj1wpyYbu-uhjXZjaCEBBzslk9TiG650dfaKNicyRt9IHtAG1L0p89GdOd9BN2ngYpu1iA_93gt5V-2F65OpTLpCYhwGaQIn3yKM2M3KIu318/s1600-h/Edinburgh.jpg">


The first night we were there, we ate a yummy pub dinner and then hiked up one of the mountains called Arthur's Seat. It's a Volcano so it is like a three pronged peak with a grassy knoll between them. you can see where the lava flowed down the North side into the Firth. It probably wasn't too smart to hike up there at 9:00 at knight but the sun doesn't go down until 11:00p here so... There were 5 of us and we had to climb a garden wall and hop some barbed wire (which was invented in Texas by the way) and climb a 10 foot rock wall to begin. The Scotland National Flower is the thistle- there are so many of them and they hurt through your jeans making climbing a strategy. We visited both mounds- it is fun because the land between them is just a soft slope so we could roll down it till it bellied out and then go up the other, much rockier one- it looked kind of like the endless stair into Mordor- I was looking for gollum. The view from the top was incredible. I really dont even know how to describe it. The mountain is sandwiched between the sea and the city and there are higher peaks in the distance behind the farmlands. So if you turned to the West, twilight was pink and purple and orange and the clouds were navy and few and it looked like they were being sucked away from us through a funnel because of the wind and their elongated shape. We could see the old city and the castle and the first with the light reflecting off of it. We were there during their summer festival so the Military Tattoo (which went to the next night) was being held in the castle court and we could barely hear the drums from that. The wind up there sucks sound up- you can't yell across long distances because your voice is stolen as soon as you talk- like Arial in the Little Mermaid. Then if you turned to the East, the sky was already deep navy on the horizon and there was an almost full but very big, low, yellow moon just over the water. It was pretty much breathtaking. Climbing down in the dark was an adventure.
We toured the castle in the morning. That was SO fun! there is so much history there it is crazy. It's huge- and various parts of it have been blown up and re-replaced and re-re-replaced. I can picture armed men running around there and calling out orders and big warships coming out in the harbor. There are like 10 batteries and the biggest canon in Europe is there.
The stone of destiny is there so i got to see that- England stole it from Scotland hundreds of years ago and sat it under their coronation chair- which i saw in Westminster Abbey in London (1,000 year old fancy chair)- until 1950 when some Scottish school boys stole it and took it back to Scotland. They didn't official get it back till 1999. Saw more crowned jewels, a scottish veterans memorial and such.


Leading down from the castle, there is a road called the Royal Mile and it is lovely but sadly so touristy; it leads to the Palace of Holy Rood. Entertainers lined the street- which was always fun. there were at least two random perades marching down it- one was women in lingerie. Jesse and Dave bought kilts (flippin £70)

Some of the buildings look normal stone colored, but some are oddly black. The reason for that is that was a less environmentally friendly manufacturing center, the smog was so bad that it turned the buildings black. The normal ones are the ones that have been sand blasted since then. geez. I ate a baked potato with cheddar cheese and cold corn in it for lunch. They don't know what chili is here. The Queen of England goes up to live in the palace of Holy Rood in September but when she is at Buckingham, Holy Rood is open as a museum. It is very fancy of course- nothing like Kings of France though- I dont think England ever got that outrageous. I saw marry queen of scotts bed chamber and the blood stains on the floor from where Rizzio was stabbed 56 times in 15__ and the skull of Robert the Bruce- the skull was random placed on display between a necklace and a brooch. awkward. My favorite part though was the old chapel out back. there was a monastary there a long time ago and it is just ground ruins now. the chapel though, the roof collapsed in the 1600s and was never repaired. So it is basically ruins now! I wish I could have been alone in there a while. It was so beautiful



That evening, I went with 3 other girls to the harbor and ate in the cutest friendliest all-wood pub at a table that overhangs the water. Mushroom soup and a childs order of pesto pasta with cider.
And went to the famous annual Edinburgh Military Tattoo in the evening. The tattoo takes place in the court of the castle! That's the part just outside of it- like in Ever After (one of my favorite movies ever-it's been too long since I've seen it) when Danielle "goes to court" and she is outside of the palace on the elevated stone walkway where only courtiers can go- that's where we would be. They started at dusk with fireworks and canons then the gate to the fortress opened up and Royal Army Band of Bagpipes marched out. They were in full traditional dress- a hundred and something bagpipe players! It sounded like nothing I have ever heard and I loved it! They did an aggiestyle turn around and marched out with loud drums!




Other acts included: the Middlsex County Volunteer Fifes and Drums. they're from Boston and are dres like 1770s militia men. They carried an American flag of course and played Yankee Doodle on their way out. (the harley davidson guy i met was a drummer in that group), A marching band and drill team from a girls school in Taiwan, Massed Commonwealth Highland dancers (Lesley and Sarah Elizabeth would have loved them) they did trad. highland scotland footwork and made fun designs, A bunch of stunt devil boys on motorcycles came out for intermission- they were funny and crazy- making body pyramids on zooming motorcycles, driving backwards and doing death crosses, driving on ladders, and one big jump at the end, The Band of the Moscow Military Conservatorie- I enjoyed them- very Russian, Mounted band of the lue and Royals! they were a band on horseback-geez, Trinadad and Tobago Defense Force Steel Orchestra- welcome to the carribean mate- the only steel band orchestra in the world! They were awesome. a bunch of black guys in all white shimmying their shoulders and playing music that Jimmy Buffet would enjoy. A woman decked out in feathers came out and limbod under a flaming stick, The the Massed Military band came out again and they were my favorite.





On Saturday, about 12 of us drove up to Pitlochry (about an hour and half northwest) and went on a seven-mile hike. That was adventurous and gorgeous! I don't like taking pictures so i didn't take my camera. I'll get pictures from friends and a video from laura of me making a heatherangel in the heather on the side of a mountain. we started in deciduous trees and creeks and flowers; and walked a constant incline for two miles into all conifurs. then we cam to an area with absolutely no trees but it was ALL heather. We climbed up to well, the second highest point and we could see for miles- including a medium-sized castle neat a village down below! The heather is softer than it looks- or springy at least. so as long as you are wearing jeans and cover your face, you can roll down hills of it and actually feels quite nice. The heater comes up to about mide calf so you can't just run through it like normal, you have to either bounce or high-knee it. I went bounding across the little hills on the big hill and first i compared myself to a gazell and then i recompared myself to Amanda price skinny dipping- running high-kneed across yards of shallow water till you get to waist deep. I climbed up a big rock in the middle and spread my arms into the wind and sang that one song "I'm Alive I'm Alive I'm Alive..." I wanted to sing louder but I was with three girls. the wind helped in stealing the sound anyway. We walked through a low part of greener grass but learned that the reason it is so green is because it wet there- really muddy wet- as in i definely ruined my maroon deisels. i'm sad. surprisingly wet feet didn't bother me at all- they dried quick tho. Hiked back from heather to conifurs to deciduous and flower to ice cream which was pretty much the best ice cream i have ever had in my life. Something I learned: I think i would be okay with going on a few day hiking trip. when we finished i was nowhere near ready to stop. The backpacks that some of the boys brought here are really easy to carry- it's like they lie to you about how much they weigh. i think i'll ask for one for Christmas. One of the boys here, Jesse, he and his brother hiked the Appalachian Trail in 99 days last summer. All the way from georgia to maine in one trip would be a little much but to divide that up and go up parts of it for a few days at a time over about 10 years would be cool huh. Anyway. Hiking was fun and it didn't stop there! We hiked back up Arthur's Seat for sunrise! And I didn't sleep a wink that night! ha. We walked into town for a late dinner at a Chinese Buffet- yum and then went to this spot called Three Sisters. I could not figure out what that building used to be but it was something odd in like 1750 something- old. now it is a bar and restaurant. I bet there were about 20 of us out (mostly girls) and they played 80's and 90's music the whole time! So there was no excuse for grinding. We just jumped and bouncy personal space danced and laughed and sang at the top of our lungs the whole time. We are really clicking now- i feel really comfortable with these people and our conversations are getting deeper and I even tackled a girl today. I like it that i can be out without a drink in my hand and be comfortable. I didn't drink at all when we were out. I have a drink with dinner sometimes and i have gone to pubs a few times too but it is never more than one and half the time i dont drink anything at all. i like it better like that. We stayed there until 2am then walked back and played ball in the parking lot and then those of us who hadn't given up and gone to bed (about 6) hiked up for the sun rise. it was cloudy so it wasn't an amazing sight- the sky just went from dark to grey to light grey but that's okay. i'll save that experience for another time. i slept solid, curled up in a ball the whole drive home!

Today I almost got hit by a garbage truck.

Tomorrow I'm going to Edinburgh, Scotland. I'll be there for 4 days.

The Tower of London and a bit on Democrats

I was in London the second time yesterday. We went to the Tower of London first. The white tower in the middle was the palace before Hampton Court before Buckingham Palace.. It was built by William the Conqueror in 1066. then they built and outer wall and then another outer wall and then they built a mote with another wall. so it is huge, the oldest part in the middle. It took 200 years to build. There are 20 towers in all- it's like a little city inside a city- like the vatican- but not. The first zoo in the world was there. The first royal observatory was too before they moved it to Greenwich. We saw some crazy armoury stuff inside the tower! And the crowned jewels- GEEZE- tooooo many diamonds. tooooo obnoxiously but pretty many diamonds. They had a tribute in there to the diamond quarries in South Africa from 70 years ago- but they treated it like it was a historical tragedy- not a current issue- see Blood Diamond if you haven't. It is interesting spending all my time with all these northern liberals. Northern liberals are very different from the few southern liberals that I encounter- as silly as that sounds it is true. We have lots of political debates- environment, oil, war, taxes, social programs, social freedoms, health care and whatever the heck else. Anyway. I'll put a video clip on the Tower of London up later. The Tower of London was the prison for all the nobility accused of high treason. We saw Tower Hill where thousands of public executions (hang to almost dead, disemboweled, drawn and quartered, and decapitated. Then they'd stick their heads on pikes on the London bridge until they rotted and fell into the river but they buried their quartered bodies. Then, London Bridge was the only way to cross the Thames for miles so people would definitely see the heads coming to town or traveling to trade. The gory tour guide told a story about a duke who was decapitated and then they realized that they didn't have a recent portrait of him so they sent a beefeater back to the bridge to get his head and reattached it to his body and a painter painted the fastest painting he'd ever painted- in a day and a half- and it was an ugly painting. We saw the room where people like Sir Walter Raleigh were kept- they had furniture and could even bring their wives to prison with them- weird huh.
The picture on top is me in front of Traitor's Gate. It used to be called Water Gate since it was the boat entrance. I am standing underneath "Bloody Tower" because the tower was quite bloody back then. Funny, saying "I'm going to the Bloody Tower" here is sort of like saying an American "taking dam pictures" at Hoover Dam. They have a draw bridge and a spiky, reel-up metal bar door to slam down! I think that's exciting.