Monday, September 12, 2011

Pregnancy Diaries: Counting Kicks

Husband of pregnant wife: "Honey, can you move around a little less at night.  You're keeping me awake."
Pregnant wife: "Sweetie, I understand what you are saying and I love you, but let me tell you a few things.  I chew two Tums preemptively before I go to bed.  Then I give you a kiss and lay down on my left side like the doctor ordered.  5 nights out of 7, heartburn kills that option.  So I quietly stack pillows behind my shoulders to sleep sitting up.  About that time, baby wakes up (and on nights like tonight, he also gets the hiccups) so I close my eyes and pray for him and for us or think about things like "what if my water broke right now?" until he falls back asleep so that I can fall asleep.  But before I can doze off, I realize that I have to pee again, so I get up to go to the bathroom.  Before I reenter the bedroom, I consider that I am too awake at this point to fall asleep soon enough to not need to change positions repetitively and wake you, so I go to the living room to read about things like, "What would I do if my water broke right now" and other things baby or play spider solitaire.  When I feel sleepy enough, I heat a glass of milk in the microwave to make me even sleepier and fend off heartburn.  I stop by the bathroom one more time then sneak in and lay back down hoping- no praying- that baby doesn't wake back up once I'm horizontal and keep me awake another 20 minutes.  I expect to wake again around 4am to revisit the bathroom at which point, I again pray that baby does not wake up and that I can fall back asleep.  I'm so thankful you give me regular back rubs, or I'd be dealing with backache too.  Sorry hubs.  I love you... but I don't feel sorry for you."  Ha!  


Gail said...

I love these two entries!! Hang in there - it won't be long now and you'll be holding him in your arms and admiring how beautiful he is, BUT you'll still be praying that he'll sleep through the night! Haha! :)

Liz it is! said...

Hahahahahaha! Loved it! Ahhh the joy of being preggo!~ :)
Never been, but have had the chance to be around a lot of pregnant ladies! Some of you are just so witty and funny!
Be patient, it's almost over! :)