Friday, March 11, 2011

The Power of God > not = the power of Heather

I have learned that trusting God does not always involve my discernment. I have many a time prayed, "God, I trust you with this situation. Now, please help me to discern Your will." Then I proceed to worry for months about whether or not I'd discerned correctly. Don't get me wrong, I think that is a good prayer and we absolutely should actively seek God's will, but my anxious attitude behind it was draining, pointless, and less than trusting. I was trusting myself as much as or more than I was trusting God. Did I forget that He is the mighty one?

When Chris and I were moving to NYC, we prayed that God would lead us to the area where He wanted us to live and mostly to the church that he wanted us to join. I worried for months that we would not choose the right home then I worried afterward that we had mischosen/ that we would spend 3 years friendless in a big city. As it turns out, if Chris and I had not moved to the southern point of Staten Island (rather than the north or Brooklyn nearer to his work), we would not have visited The Point Church in nearby New Jersey and experienced the blessing that has made living here the most worthwhile. I cannot imagine our life without our brothers and sisters there and I do not think I would be as able to face the journey of motherhood without the love and wisdom of our friends. I didn't carefully discern that God wanted us to move here- I was clueless. I do not feel any sense of accomplishment in having chosen correctly. I simply prayed. And he answered. All that worry and stress was not necessary; it glorified myself rather than Him and revealed to me that I needn't waste my energy trying to trust my discernment. Rather I should just believe that God is powerful and trustworthy.
Depend on Him, not on Him plus yourself. And toss your anxiety out the window.

1 comment:

betty said...

Yes, we pray, read scripture and turn it all over to God and then before you know it we take it back.
But he just keeps leading us. So happy you and Chris are where you were led. You have such mission from God and you show his love. God Bless you both!!

(Motherhood? Soon? lol!)