My identity should be in Christ and not in myself and definitely not in what I do. Well that is an incredible relief actually. I dont have to strive for that myself. And if I do choose to put that burden on myself anyway, then I am not showing Christ to those around me the way that I should.
I do not want to give in to the lie that focusing on myself will make me happier or that I should compete with other women to win the title of "beautiful" or that I must strive to maintain some "adequate" level of self confidence for the rest of my life. And I do not want to become a middle aged women who has overdone hair and makeup, is still upset about looking old and is overly concerned with trying to be some sexy trophy wife thing.
I want to be a peaceful spirited women filled with the Lord's contentment and joy and peace and pouring that into other people, centered in God' s grace and truly seeing myself as that beautiful woman that God made me, not worried about my external appearance or how "exciting" i am coming off as, or whether or not my husband thinks I am prettier than the chick passing us on the sidewalk. I am praying about this- i am far from attaining it.