Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Fullness of Emptiness

After 9 months of pregnancy and 5 months of kicks and flips and hiccups, I had grown very close to my son.  Pun intended.  And once his body left my body, I felt... well empty.  Deflated.  And a little cold.  Like the bread bowl must feel after the soup has been eaten.  But in the minutes that followed, when I held him and watched his little eyes watch me and Chris, my heart felt very full.

Now, 9 months later, I still know the meaning of empty fullness.  Being a mom is very emptying... of time, of energy, of sleep, of concentratability, of self-centeredness, etc.  Yet, even though I am poured out and drained, I feel so full. Undeniably, I have never felt this full.