I'm Not That Bad at Math and

my neck is not that long.

So it turns out I am not bad at math.  I find this out now at age 28 while my husband is in grad school, after 20 years of calculators and bashful avoidance and strategizing my undergraduate course load out of fear, leaving knowledge gaps in economics, physics and microbiology as a result.  How did this happen?

I know its the the same reason I have strategized my hairstyle and necklines around my long neck and "beady head" as Chris Rodriguez so loudly pointed out to me in 8th grade MATH class.  I believed what I was told about myself.

And then I rose to those expectations. Some teachers assumed I would not excel at math; they treated me as such and students perceive more than grownups realize.  Some kids are late bloomers academically, prolonging that blissful stage of play dough, crayons and ignorance- or just growing their strengths in some  areas before others.  My math and reading skills lagged.  I recall crying over 2nd grade homework pages and literally hunching down at my desk when the teacher called on students for answers. For me, my creative and verbal skills blossomed first, earning me encouragement which naturally bred confidence in those areas.  I am so thankful that Mrs. Macklebee promoted my writing.  Teachers unintentionally put kids in boxes (there is simply not enough time to give to a Texas-sized classroom of individuals.  As a teacher, I know- my own largest of 6 classes had 27 11th graders and no para).  At 6-years-old, I was filed in the sweet, well-dressed, artistic girl box not the clever, analytic, scientist box. So I adjusted to my imperfect label.  

As parents, we must check ever word we put into our kids ears.  We should ask ourselves, "Is it true? Is it uplifting? Is it necessary?"  If all three do not apply, skip the statement because it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Back to my body proportion.  I looked at myself in fitting room mirrors recently with less assuming eyes.  And you know what!  I don't look awkward or ugly after all! In fact, if Chris Rodriguez's magnifying words hadn't launched me into insecurity, this trait might never have stood out to me.  I've decided to call my neck elegant and my brain smarter than average (because obviously it isn't as big). The self-conscious feeling I have been so conscious of for so long was not necessary.  My neighbors don't waste brain space thinking about how weird that girl looks. My friends did not choose me and my husband doesn't love me because of the "normal" human I do or don't resemble. But hey body image and contentment is a whole other post, guys.  Like this throwback.



Homeschool Moms, do you have advice for me and readers in how homeschooling does or doesn't bump this problem?  Tell us in the comments.  

A Big Loudbright in the Sky

From the front yard of our house of the week, we sense the local event flickering just under the horizon.  Surrounded by rising fireflies below a clear sky that seldom looks so dome-like, I stand with my 4-mo-old on my hip.  Nearby block parties smell as loud as they sound and I hope a firework rises between these tall trees.

Boom! Popopopttttttpop!  My daughter whirls unsteady to face me. Her empty little memory box has no place for this sensation. She is asking with her wide eyes, "Mom, should I be afraid?"  I offer reassurance with a smile and squeeze.  "Oh okay then."  Joy turns back to the sky happy. 

Introducing little people to fireworks is one of the many little jobs of motherhood.  Happy.

Check out this Throw back to July 4, 2008 post. 

Panicking like a Hebrew

Sometimes when I prepare to feed my 6-month-old son, he loses patience and panics- he throws his head back dramatically and screams all while wriggling and making himself hard to hold onto and harder to convince that "the food is right here, buddy.  Open your eyes."  I sometimes tell him, "Son, I know your needs.  I will feed you and clean you and keep you warm and give you love.  I have provided for you thus far, why would I stop now? I am going to take care of you." 

Today I added to my lecture, "You are acting like the Hebrews.  At the Red Sea, when they saw Pharaoh's army pursuing them, they flew into a needless panic.  Had God not shown His compassion for them when He brought them out of Egypt, had He not proven his power through 10 wondrous plagues, had He not provided for them a pillar of cloud (guidance, shade, cool) and a pillar of fire (guidance, light, warmth) in the desert.  Later, He would even give them manna from the sky and water from a rock.  Did they think He would abandon them at the sea?  Well, Son, God parted the sea and they walked through on dry land and THEN He wiped out their enemy.  Exodus 14.  Baby Boy, I have not failed you yet.  Why are you panicking like a Hebrew?" 

Then I realized that God has reason to ask me the very same question.  Wham!  Humbled.  "Heather, why do you worry about your life?  Look at the birds of the air...your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you  not much more valuable than they?  If God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  For your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  Matthew 6.  I have provided for you thus far, why would I stop now?  I am going to take care of you."  Oh. 

Family Holiday Traditions

I love traditions.  To the point that I yearly wear my red socks when I decorate the Christmas tree while listening to Bing Crosby.  (Sidenote: I recommend the Christmas Swing Station on Pandora.com.)  I have been pondering traditions to start in our new little family. 

For instance, on Easter Sunday morning, we'll dye three batches of pancake batter different bright colors with food dye and have a big colorful pancake breakfast!  Thanks Abby Knorr for the idea and the photos.  Now I need a tradition to commemorate the sacrifice and resurrection of Jesus when he washed away our sins by his grace.  Let me know if you think of one. 

For Christmas, I already have plenty of secular traditions that I hold dear and plan to continue, but I was specifically pondering a tradition for remembering the "reason for the season" = the birth of Jesus Christ.  We will set out a little nativity scene in a prominant spot in our home and place advent candles in the center of our table.  Every evening, we will light them (adding one each week) and read the Christmas story divided into short segments then discuss during dinner.  Since we'll blow the candles out nightly, the children will also draw a picture of the candles on butcher paper to hang on the wall.  Each Sunday they will color in one flame so that even when our candles are blown out, they are still burning. 

The night we light the last candle will call for a big celebration of some sort- I need to figure that one out. 
Maybe that can be when we do our most important Christmas tradition: choosing Jesus's birthday present.  As the kids get older, we will let them be creative with this one and come up with their own ideas, but at first we'll use a resource like World Vision to donate a farm animal to a family or school supplies to students or money toward a clean well for a village.  Thank you Zilas and Nussbaumers for this idea! 

 

A tradition such as this will not only help families in need as God has commanded us to do, but it will teach our children to joyfully help others.  You may ask, How is giving a gift to a random stranger giving a present to Jesus?  Jesus says himself in Matthew 25: 34-40 "...whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me." 

An Announcement.

Heather's Text to Paige Marcella Rieck Hill:
Hey Paige, guess what I am.
It's a sort of state of being or a condition if you will. an unplanned and unanticipated but never the less (after a bit of adjusting) welcomed one.
The condition itself is temporary, but the effects are pretty darn permanent.

Paige's Response:
You have a parasite.
That you will name.
And grow to love

Heather's Response:
Yes.

I remember once in college (I don't know why Paige and I were talking about child rearing), Paige said that God gives children to parents on loan for a while to love and to train. Correct me, Paige, if you can say it better than that.


Chris said it looks like a peanut, but I can kinda tell that it is going to be human. See the big head on the left and the little body with arm and leg nubs on the right?

My sister, Katie, commented "I showed my friends at work and Laura said it looked like a gummy bear. Everyone loves gummy bears and they are cute, so tell Chris that it looks like a gummy bear or I thought it looked like a black eyed pea..."

But since he/she looks so much like a Peanut, he/she has been dubbed Little Linus.  Let it be known that the birth name will not be Linus.  

Marmie from Little Women

"I want my daughters to be beautiful, accomplished, and good; to be admired, loved, and respected; to have a happy youth, to be well and wisely married, and to lead useful, pleasant lives, with as little care and sorrow as God sees fit to send. To be loved and chosen by a good man is the best and sweetest thing which can happen to a woman, and I sincerely hope my girls may know this beautiful experience. It is natural to think of it, right to hope and wait for it, and wise to prepare for it, so that when the happy time comes, you may feel ready for the duties and worthy of the joy.
... not that they would marry rich men merely because they are rich, or have splendid houses which are not homes because love is wanting. Money is a needful and precious thing- and, when well-used, a noble thing- but I never want you to think it is the first prize to strive for. I'd rather see you poor men's wives, if you were happy, beloved, contented, then queens on thrones, without self-respect or peace."