-An insatiable need for validation, adoration, affirmation, affection, and devotion. And we are like, "Where
is this coming from?" And where
should we channel it? After we find
comfort in the realization that we are not alone in our deep quiet longings,
should we suppress them? Should we alter
expectations of our husbands? If
unmarried, should we seek men who may satisfy these? Should we kindle deeper friendships? Or should we consider that there may be an
entirely different source altogether?
I long to feel adored, beautiful
and treasured. It is good and right for
my husband to be sensitive to those needs- he was created with the desire to treasure
someone after all. God created both men
and women in his own image. As God placed
in us His own desire to be loved, sought after, and cherished, He placed in men
His own desire to be relied upon and affirmed by the words of the one he
cherishes. The puzzle pieces fit
perfectly, actually.
God intentionally placed in
men and women an even greater need for Himself.
No person was intended to provide these needs anymore than we
were meant to be fulfilled by their attempts.
Therefore we should neither burden them with impossible expectations nor
set ourselves up for disappointment. Christy
Nockels suggests, "By posturing our hearts to look to God to meet the
God-needs and acknowledging that He alone can meet them, we've positioned
ourselves for the next posture: fulfillment." Our security, validation, self-worth and
identity should not be rooted in men's compliments or lack thereof (or anything
else for that matter), but in the peace of God, which surpasses all
understanding.
Proverbs 13:12 says, Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a
longing fulfilled is a tree of life.
Many women are heartsick from deferred hopes of relationship or of fulfillment
within relationships; but if we let God provide the God-needs, we will feel
like a flourishing tree, lovely and fruitful Jeremiah 17:7-8.
Chris and I plan to complete a Study-Discussion-Decision Emersion over Christmas break. One week is dedicated to distinguishing God-needs and Spouse-needs in our lives and in our marriage. I will likely post the exercises soon.
